When it’s time to say goodbye to someone in your life, you often know it. The relationship becomes more give and less take, communication starts to wean, messages are left unanswered, and you feel a shallow resentment starting to build.
This happens to everyone once in a while. It’s pretty uncomfortable to feel that someone doesn’t want you in their life anymore, but it’s important that you can take the hint and get out. And getting out is key, especially if you aren’t the one leaving.
Now, this reminds me of that He’s Just Not That Into You book, but the thing less represented by media is what to do when this happens in a plutonic relationship. Everyone likes to focus on breakups, but no one ever talks about what it’s like to lose a friend.
In a day where I slightly cringe at the use of “best friend” – we are not in the second grade anymore – I can’t deny that I don’t have one, or a few. There are two types of people: people who have just a few very close friends and a small circle of acquaintances, and people who have a large group of equally good friends. I am the first type of person, so when I consider you a friend, I’m not just saying it. When I consider you a friend, I’m there 100%.
But like romances, friendships can be short-lived. If you’re a Type 1 person, losing a friend, even after a short time, can be a tough blow to your highly selective friendship bank.
What makes it worse is their constant social media feed pouring over your many home pages. There is a handy trick when this gets to be a painful reminder – Unfollow, Unfriend, Unsubscribe. Boom. Magic. If you don’t want to lose them as a Facebook friend all together, just use the nifty “unsubscribe” tool to hide their activity from your news feed.
Cutting them out of your social media is not the end-all to your post-friendship depression, though. There is really nothing else you can do except let time do its work.
This blog post has been a bit of a ramble, but it’s just something I’ve been needing to write about recently. The true fact is that people drift apart, people leave, and sometimes people might come back, but what you have to remind yourself is that those people are not in your life for a reason. Surround yourself with people who love you no matter what, and forget the rest of them.
One of my favourite quotes is “People who mind don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t mind”.